2015 Funny Halloween Jokes!!
Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter.
Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess: It dampens their spirits!.
Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter.
Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess: It dampens their spirits!.
Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
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